Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays To ALL!!!

Well, it's that time again! Christmas is only a few hours away. A great time of the year where we celebrate the birth of Christ and exchange presents. What's that you say? You didn't get anything for that horror fan in your life? For shame! Well, that's ok! I have a few suggestions for you...


First, our great friends over at Fright Rags have designed a beautiful Silent Night Deadly Night t-shirt and poster.The poster is absolutely beautiful featuring Ricky, the main antagonist of the movie in action. These bad mama jammas are limited to only 225, so once they're gone THEY ARE GONE! Another bonus: These posters will be signed and numbered by legendary scream queen Linnea Quigley, who appeared in the movie in a minor role. And what if posters aren't your thing? That's ok! The art was also turned into a t-shirt. displaying the same image below...



Another option is of course dvds. Throughout the years many holiday related horror has been released. Of course "Halloween" comes to mind automatically. "My Bloody Valentine", "April Fools Day", "Happy Birthday To Me", and on and on...it seems all the holidays are covered. However, a movie I have yet to see is a killer Easter bunny played by , which I'm sure is on it's way somewhere.

So what movies would I recommend on dvd? There's quite a few movies I would suggest you picking up. My top pick would no doubt be Christmas Evil. A fairly forgotten classic a disturbed, single young man who see's his father dressed as Santa giving his wife a "special Christmas present" (NOTE: You'll have to forgive me for not going into details. I would prefer to keep this blog rather clean). Growing up, he becomes obsessed with Santa and goes on an eventual murderous rampage. The acting isn't top notch, but it's worth a viewing. I actually have two versions of this movie. One on vhs and on dvd. FearNet is known to play it around this time time of year, but if you're looking to watch all year round you can pick up a used or new copy on Amazon. Look for Patricia Richardson who would go on to much fame as "Jill Taylor" on the wildly popular 90s sitcom Home Improvement in a minor role as a very frustrated mother of a problem child.



Another fantastic Christmas related film is obviously Black Christmas which was released in 1974. This particular slasher film revolves around a sorority house that is terrorized by a crazy man who sneaks through attic and...well...you guess the rest. This film was remade in 2006 to not so kind reception. The original however, is a classic. Both can be picked up on Amazon.com or perhaps that local used dvd joint in your neck of the woods.




For some reason I'd be amiss if I didn't bring two of my least favorite Christmas-related horror. One is a legit horror movie, the other is just terrifying to watch. Now as a huge pro-wrestling fan since a very young age I've noticed that so many pro wrestling stars try to take their act to Hollywood. Perhaps no one tries harder and fails harder than one...Hulk Hogan.While not the greatest wrestler(or even a very good one at that) in the world, Hulk Hogan is one of the most famous people int he world. If you don't watch wrestling or even know anything about wrestling you know Hulk Hogan. Be it his sad family affairs or his even more sad choices of acting. Which brings me to:


To be fair, this movie should never be made. I'm not ever going to waste the time to give the synopsis of this movie. I'd sooner give you a review of the Hulkster's match against the Outlaw Ron Bass. This movie is bad, bad, bad...like Wicker-Man remake bad. Well, not that bad...but along those lines. If you wish to purchase this monstrosity, go dumpster diving. Or if that doesn't work, again try amazon. Although I'd worry for your mental health if you wish to subject yourself to anything starring Hulk Hogan.

Another pro wrestler who gave Hollywood the old college try was one Bill Goldberg. Bill Goldberg was a hot commodity in the late 90s with WCW. Unfortunately, after that company folded in 2001 he never achieved the same greatness. Much later he would star in the popular show "Bullrun". But before hosting a show about stupid looking cars that make noise, Goldberg made a pit stop in horror...I give you Santa's Slay...


Now I previously said "least favorite" but Santa's Slay is quite entertaining. And unlike Santa With Muscles, this pick is more of a fun selection. The actors in this movie are comprised of "C Level" comedic actors including Chris Kattan, Robert Culp, Dave Thomas, James Caan and Fran Drescher. Interesting note, without going too much into a review Tommy "Tiny" Lister also appears similar to his character "Deebo" and while known for his menacing bully character "Deebo" in the famous Friday films, longtime wrestling fans will(perhaps not fondly) remember him as "Zeus" in the movie No Holds Barred starring Hulk Hogan and even headlined Summerslam with Randy Savage against Hulk Hogan and Brutus the Barber Beefcake which brings us full circle back to Hulk Hogan. See how that worked?

So back to the film. This movie isn't going to be remembered as a trip down Elm Street and Crystal Lake. This movie is more of a tongue in cheek film. Many references to Goldberg's wrestling career including his famous catchphrase "Who's Next?" and Goldberg using his famous "spear". If you sit down to watch this movie with the thought that it could be the next big hit, than you're fooling yourself. However, if your in the mood to watch a silly horror film that doesn't take itself all that serious than head over to Best Buy and pick this up.

So, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holidays folks! And be careful who you let down that chimney...you never know who could show up...


3 comments:

  1. what the fuck? who greenlit that Hulk Hogan trash and then actually decided to make it? That's utter crap just from the box art, don't ever need to actually watch it.

    I thought his only movie was the semi entertaining VERY 90s "Suburban Commando"

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  2. Suburban Commando was a favorite for my brother and I for one reason. We were going to be able to hear the Undertaker finally talk in his real voice. Well, until..."YOU'RE A DEAD MAN RAMSEY!"

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