Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Who put jelly in my glass? A guest entry by Laurie of Knit Terrors

source: myremoteradio

Welch's jelly glasses. Every household had one (at least). 

As a child, I always loved them - at one point landing myself a Sylvester & Tweety glass from their 1994 Looney Tunes series. As much as I love grape jelly, it wasn't about that. I mean, it was, in the fact that you couldn't eat the jelly fast enough, but then you got to have this sweet looking glass to use for years to come. They were on par with those Pepsi Looney Tunes glasses (I'm convinced everyone had those too).

Nothing could touch my love for Sylvester. NOTHING.

I remember going across the street to my cousin's house and they had a cupboard full of them. I always made it a point to drink out of one - I remember the T-Rex one most.  They were a great novelty, like getting the prize in the cereal box, but unlike some of those throwaway prizes, the glass served a purpose afterwards.

Doppelganger to none other than Cheesasaurus Rex

There isn't a vast amount of information online regarding these, in fact the only evidence I found of Welch's acknowledging they ever existed, is on their FAQ page.  People are selling them on ebay, amazon or etsy for anywhere between .99 and $24 for a single glass jar - most without, but some with their lids included. Not bad for a taste of nostalgia. 

From what I could gather, these glasses began production in 1953 with a set of six Howdy Doody themed jars.  The last one I was able to track down is a 2003 set of Dragon Tales  jars.  Over the years, there were over 25 different sets, with some of the more notable sets being The Flintstones (1964), the aforementioned Looney Tunes (1994), Muppets in Space (1998), Pokemon (2000) and The Peanuts (2001). From the looks of it, they don't seem like a bad investment - most of them holding up pretty well over time.

It kind of saddens me that these don't seem to be in production any more. I can't say that I've actively been seeking them out all these years, but I happened to come across them on ebay and it peaked my interest and childhood excitement once again. 

For the very best horror icons in knit doll form, visit Knit-Terrors at https://www.facebook.com/knitterrors 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

RIP: John Fasano

RIP: John Fasano

If you're a fan of 1980s horror movies, the name John Fasano should not be new to you. He  was a multi-talented writer, producer and director of many Hollywood movies such as Universal Soldier: The Return and Another 48 Hours. But more importantly to me and many others, he'll be remember as the director of two of the best horror/metal movies you'll ever see, Black Roses and Rock And Roll Nightmare, which at the time were not the biggest hits, but gained their significant cult following shortly afterwards. With creations like the ones you see below(from Black Roses) it's not hard to see why...

Photo credit: The Film Connisseur Blog
Not just known for his directing, but his mask creations were also widely known throughout the horror fandom for being elaborate and some of the most unique. A skill that most directors didn't have. Which gave him a certain edge to making horrifying and gruesome creations on screen, especially when his goal was to scare his viewers.

John, with one of his masks.

On July 19th, John sadly left us at age 52. Such a smart man, brilliant talent and huge influence on many in Hollywood now. My best wishes go out to his family and loved ones who he no doubt left memories that will last forever.

He may sadly be gone but his movies will always be with us. Here's one more for the road, John...

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go pop in Black Roses. It's always been my favorite of his films and consistently entertains me ever since I discovered it at the age of 16 when I was perusing the horror section at my local video store. The package stood out. Well, literally. Mainly because of the 3-D plastic cover that literally popped out at you. On the back, the insane creature design lured me into renting it. Upon first viewing, it was at first sight. Soon after, I picked up the dvd and never let it leave my collection. Whether it's the awesome soundtrack that is constant rotation on my iPod(and fun note, the song "Paradise" was on my first mix cd I gave my girlfriend Laurie in 2010!), the killer creature designs or the coolness of Damien, it's always been a movie I've had deep love for and will continue too for a long time. Without John, it wouldn't have been possible to have such deep love for such a creep movie involving a rock band that turned teenagers into creepy aliens.

Photo Credit: Serial Killer Kalendar

Thanks, John. Your work will never go unforgotten.

August 24 1961-July 19 2014


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Experiencing Jodorowsky's Dune

I hate the movie Dune. I hate everything about it. I feel it's one of the most angering and boring experiences known to man. Which is a shame, because I'm a very big fan of David Lynch. Anyone who knows anything about Dune, knows everything just fell apart and what COULD have been a great idea and a huge movie, turned out to be at least 2 hours of boredom and confusion.Now, I'm aware it has a cult following and there are fans that see past the nonsense, but for some reason, I can't. It's been a movie that I've hated since I was about 14 when I rented it and the copy got eaten up in machine leaving me without a vcr for a month. And then when I finally watched the movie, I found a waste of my life. Boring, boring, boring and just all over the place leaving me wanting to bang my head through a wall. Although, if I had at least one praise, it was the portrayal of Baron Harkonnen.

The fight scene in the Beat It video was more action packed than this.

Now sure, the feeling is a common feeling with a lot of people, but when I heard of the Dune we were supposed to get, I was even more infuriated. Before David Lynch was given control of the 1984 film, Dune was originally meant to be a grand vision of the great Alejandro Jodorowsky. Armed with famed French artist Moebius, actor David Carradine, and Pink Floyd, Dune was set to be the movie to end all movies. This was going to a very huge event. Through storyboards and preproduction concept art(apparently seen by many in the Hollywood throughout the years), a story is told like never seen before. From the proposed opening of the amazing shot of space to the ending, I felt more disappointed that we missed out on this movie more than any other proposed movie I've heard(Including that Masters of the Universe sequel we were promised). Others like Orson Welles, Salvador Dali, Mick Jagger were being propositioned to being brought on to this project as well. I guess Mick Jagger being proposed as Feyd Rautha lead David Lynch to casting Sting the role in his movie.

 Jodorowdsky himself expresses his childlike glee and passion for this project throughout the movie and it shines through like nothing else. I dare say this would've been the movie that put him on an International level alongside Spielberg, Coppola, Scorsese and other giant directors who gained notoriety at that time. At the same time, his glee, maybe accidental, for Lynch's Dune failing was quite entertaining. I feel that despite Mick Jagger, Orson Welles, Pink Floyd, and everyone else involved, Jodorowsky would've been the true star and VIP of this film. As a visual master who is willing to die for his craft,  Jodorowsky has the outstanding ability to make viewers uncomfortable at the same time as entertaining them, it would've been so fascinating to see what was to be the final result would have been.

Fans of scifi and horror will also note that the legendary Dan O'Bannon was meant to come on board and handle special effects. And for those who loved Alien and Total Recall know he would've been the right man for the job. Speaking of Alien, HR Giger was brought in as well to design a lot of the aspects of the movie. In fact, we were treated to one of his many amazing designs. Imagine this on film...

Essentially, we'd be looking at the first giant blockbuster movie that would've been impossible to follow up. Unfortunately, a huge portion of the movies budget was used on preproduction and it looked like the movie just wouldn't get done. And after exhausting resources, it was time to throw in the towel. Sadly, the rights were given to Dino DeLaurentis and we got the atrocious trash known as David Lynch's Dune in 1984. A sad ending to such a spectacular vision but as grand as it was meant to be in the script and heads of it's creators, it wasn't mean to be on the screen.

I hate "Rating" movies and products, but this amazing documentary deserves the highest praise and accolades humanly possible. If I could, I'd give it 15 stars out of 10. It's just so amazing and captivating. In fact, I dare say, Electric Boogaloo(the highly anticipated story of Cannon Films to be released this year) will have a very hard time following this one!

Now, you can witness what was meant to be on an amazing documentary. A lot of effort was put in to tell one of the most amazing stories ever told in Hollywood. And you can pick it up via Amazon which is worth the asking price of $25. I can't suggest this BluRay any higher. For those who love Hollywood stories and love watching how movies become what they are, this is a must. In fact, if you think this isn't the best movie documentary I've seen since Never Sleep Again, then I'll buy you a Dune pillowcase.


Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Hostess, Please Bring THESE Back!

These are Chocodiles. Food of the gods.

So, Hostess announced this week that the elusive Chocodiles would be coming back on a national scale. Why is this such a big deal? Well, as longtime Hostess fanatics will tell you, they haven't been available on a nationwide basis in quite sometime. In fact, the only recent discovery I could even find is when Matt of DinosuarDracula found a way to obtain a box filled with them. You can read that particular adventure at this link. Truth be told, I had never heard of Chocodiles until Matt had posted his adventure. Which is odd in itself considering what a devoted Hostess-ee I am. Or is that Hostess-Host? Eh. I'm not too good at these things so I'll leave it at Hostess-ee. So, as you can imagine imagine, chocolate covered Twinkies were quite the world shattering idea to me the first time I discovered their delicious existence. Since Matt's article, I have never been able to even find ANY Chocodiles outside a site called "Fresh Chocodiles" which allegedly sold them fresh from coast to coast. Now, personally, I've never heard anyone who bought them but I have serious issues with ordering treats online. Nothing personal. I just don't trust it. I'm sure it's reliable though.

Chauncey, the Chocodile mascot, courtesy of Book Line and Sinker

So, nonsensical paranoid rambling about having snack foods delivered aside, the news about Chocodiles epic return is pretty darn huge if I may say so myself. Since the Hostess reemergence last year, speculation was rampant as to whether we'd see familiar products come back. Obviously the choice to bring others back depended on sales of the returning treats. And I'm guessing it worked, because Chauncey The Chocodile will soon be hitting the nationwide shelves for the first time in decades. I'm very excited, despite giving up on Twinkies due to my dieting, but I've never had a Chocodiles so this will be my special cheat. And for me to not take advantage of this would be downright silly. Finally after 11 years after my discovery, I get to stuff them down my gullet.

But the question arises. If Chocodiles come back, what other products can be considered for a return? Well let's sit down, grab a glass of milk and a Chocodile and talk about what other offerings could return to our pantries...


I did an entry a few years ago on my love of Hostess's special Halloween offering. Monster/Scary Cakes, whatever they may be titled, were a once a year treat during the Halloween season with a special orange colored frosting that tasted a bit different than the normal orange flavored or chocolate variants. This frosting tasted a little thicker and a little plain. But the lack of the creamy swirl was made up with black sprinkles. This gave it a very special taste and feel that you could always look forward to. .

Courtesy of Freddy In Space
GLO Balls, much like their cupcake counterpart, were simply Snoballs with an orange colored marshmallow shell. Unlike the Monster Cakes, these didn't taste any different than the usual Snoballs during the year. But, the bright orange color scheme helped add to the Halloween season. As much as I love Monster Cereals, these were THE Halloween treats to look forward to.


Credit to The Technodrome.com
 If you were a boy in the late 80s/early 90s, you had Turtle Fever. And anything that had the Turtles on it, we owned. That included food. And with the exception of the cereal, no better Turtles related food than the Hostess pudding pies. Yes. Pudding pies. I had one of these in my lunchbox for almost a year. They were delicious vanilla filled pies with a green crust. They were a reason to look forward to lunch, besides trying to make Joey Gonzales blow milk out of his nose while doing a Balki impression. Much like the great Balki, these pies would make anyone break out a Dance of Joy. Unlike, Balki, they didn't last long on the shelf. They were really just made as a promotional tool for Ninja Turtles 2 in 1991 and shortly afterwards, went away. But the delicious taste stayed with us forever. Sure, they were the easiest formula int he world, but man they were awesome. And...just saying, Hostess...there IS a new Ninja Turtles movie coming out...


Ok, so following those Turtle pies would've been hard to do. But, in the years since they've disappeared, these were produced to satisfy our wanting pudding pies. Sure, we had fruit pies, but comparing them to delicious pudding filled pastries is downright silly. So up until about 2012, Hostess made these pies with the similar formula. A sugary coated crust with chocolaty pudding goodness shoved in. I've always been a chocolate guy, so the difference never bothered me. These were the most recent link we had to those Turtle pies and they were delicious. Other companies have tried to emulate the recipe, but none have even come close. Out of everything else, I'd image this would be the product we'd have the best chance of getting back.

Retro Superhero Ads:

Courtesy of Hostess Comic Ads

Superheroes are in right now. Everywhere you go, there's at least 50,000 superhero branded products. In the 70s though, superheros teamed up with Hostess to take down their toughest and most deadly foes. Spiderman easily defeated some dork named Hotshot simply by throwing a package of Twinkies at him. Yup. Google it. If it were this easy to defeat evil, we'd be living in Utopia. But, since it's not the 70s anymore, superheroes have to rely on skill as opposed to snack cakes. I'd love to see these silly/awesome ads make a comeback. Imagine Tony Stark destroying Ultron with a pie or Superman sending Lex Luthor to jail in modern comic style.  It would be amazing to see and read a modern fight end with a Twinkie. And who knows, if we can see Chocodiles come back, anything is possible.


Ok, Twinkie The Kid is still on boxes, but he doesn't play as an important role as he should. I feel like the days of depending on mascots to sell things are long gone. And it's a shame, because these mascots are too adorable and happy looking for their own good. Positivity practically pours of the spongecake cowpoke. Look at him. He's so cheery, he's cheeks are red. Have you ever seen a red Twinkie? No. You know why? Because he's one of a kind. Just like he's colleague, the Captain who seems like a rather caring authority figure for the kids to look up to. Surely they could use a decent comeback. We've seen a lot of bad mascots come and go, but these two are up there with even Ronald McDonald as most loved. I understand the world we live in now is rather health-obssessed and concerned about what we present to children, but I dare you to have a bad day after looking at these two characters. Loveable enough to merchandise them and not make it overkill.  It's been years since we've seen them in commercials, so if Hostess was looking to make an even bigger impact, I'd wager that seeing these to high fiving Chauncey to Chocodile in a new CGI commercial would bring in a lot of love. Just think about those three high fiving and you tell me it would be a bad idea. You can't. It would undeniably awesome.

So, that's my list. I have a lot of fond memories and love for these items. I'd love to see them all hit stores again. With the return of Chocodiles, anything is now possible. So don't let us down, Hostess!!!


Saturday, July 5, 2014

GIMME GIMME GIMME! The case against Cris Hernandez and CrowdFunding Greed.

Horror fans are some of the most giving and kind natured people you'll ever meet. Despite how the mainstream media and others on the outside off the fandom may portray us. When there's a just cause to give selflessly or to give or a charity that needs support, we're more than happy to give our time and money to it. It's proof that you can NOT judge a book by it's creepy cover.

At the same time, there are those that are out for themselves. There are certain people who would rather take than give. People who are greedy and lazy and not willing to do anything. Of course,
 there's people like that in all walks of life but I'm discovering more and more that the seedy underbelly of the horror fandom is indeed these greedy leeches. And today I present you a prime example:

So the goal of this crowd-funding isn't for a charitable cause or granting a wish to a dying child or adult. Nope. From his own mouth, he's not dying, sick, just looking for others to fund a trip to Chicago for Flashback Weekend's once in a lifetime Freddy photo op, in which Robert Englund will don the makeup of his famous character one last time. Yup. Not use any funds or resources of his own. It's all on you, world. Time to band together and send someone to Chicago for no beneficial reason!

  Now, as a diehard Freddy Fanatic, there's nothing I'd love more than to meet the man himself in character. But at a whopping 365 dollars(well, to be fair, you do get weekend admission, a Q&A where Robert will appear as Freddy, a photo with the man himself as Freddy, and a few other perks) it's not feasible for me to do so. In fact, I'm sure I'm not the only Fred-Head who won't be attending. At the same time, I don't see others who are so selfish enough to ask others to fund their trip.

Cris Hernandez is asking 3000 dollars(actually, originally he was actually asking for 6000) for his trip from California to Chicago. The funding will include flight, hotel, food, merchandise and useless crap he doesn't really need. The perks you will receive, depending on the level of contribution will include photos of his trip, stickers, and perhaps an autographed photo. Yup. Those are the perks. For contributing 3000 dollars to a relatively unknown person(who looking at his Facebook profile, he seems to attend conventions on his own already) you get practically nothing.

Now, from my upbringing, you should be willing to give to those without needs of reimbursement or hopes of a returning favor. You should just do it. But, this guy is lazily asking others to fund his entire trip for no reason. Read in his own words about why he needs to go to this show and how he pleads his case:

"I want to thank you for the time you are about to spend reading this.

A little bit about myself:

My name is Cris, I'm new to Fund Anything... mostly a kickstarter funder

check out my credits: https://www.kickstarter.com/profile/cristobalhernandez

and I just started funding on Indiegogo: https://www.indiegogo.com/individuals/7598951/x/7598951

my friends call me Zombie.  Zombie? 

Yes the George A. Romero Night, Dawn, Day of the Dead mixed with the campy goofy comedic Return of the Living Dead kind of Zombie.  I'm obsessed with Zombies but most importantly I'm obsessed with HORROR.  Horror Movies, Horror Television Shows, Horror Books,  Magazines, Memorabilia etc... anything Horror- all the time. 

Ok enough about me let's get down to the real reason why I'm here... ROBERT ENGLUND, who? 

Robert F'ing Englund the man of Stage and Screen who's been in countless films and tv shows but most importantly recognized for one thing... one character... NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET'S own FREDDY KRUEGER.  Freddy who?

Oh my god if you don't know who Freddy Krueger is then you've probably been living under a rock (apologize for anyone who has been living under a rock.)  FREDDY KRUEGER or FRED, the son of 1000 Maniacs, the burnt, disfigured child killer from Elm street who wears a brown fedora, green and red sweater and a metal clawed brown leather glove, who haunts the dreams of his victims and sometimes his audience.  Freddy Krueger is the boogeyman that your parents told you about so do yourself a favor and don't fall asleep.

Anyway, the big buzz on the internet, in and around the horror sites and forums is Robert England donning the Freddy Krueger makeup and outfit one last time for the fans... ONE LAST TIME... that means after this last time... it's GONE FOREVER!  Or until they make a Freddy vs. Jason Sequel which we all know how long it took them to make the first one - means it'll probably never happen.


Robert Englund will be Freddy Krueger no more and I know hundreds... if not millions of Horror/Nightmare/Freddy fans hearts dropped when they heard the news because Freddy still lives on, in our hearts, in our Blu Ray and DVD collections, in our imaginations and especially in our Dreams.   Knowing that Freddy will be leaving the building soon is devastating at least it is to me.

"What can I do?" I asked myself... "nothing" I answered, I mean Robert Englund has been doing this Freddy business since 1984, 30 years... I should know I was born in 84, as much as he loves being Freddy and hates anyone else being Freddy (yeah you Jackie Earl Haley... we still love you for your other characters though) he can't do it forever, so it's time to hang it up but what better way then to go out with the fans seeing him one more time.

If I can't do anything to stop him then I have to do something to be a part of the historic moment.  So that's why I'm here, at FundAnything, to make a boys dream come true.  A dream that I've had since being born (okay I actually didn't dream when I was born it just sounded cool) but a dream that I've had for quite sometime.  A dream to meet the man who haunts dreams.

Nightmare on Elm Street to me isn't just a movie, it's a lifetime of memories.  Memories of watching Dream Warriors with my Brothers and my Sister.  Memories of watching Dream Child all alone when no one was home.  Memories of watching Freddy's Dead in the theater with my late Mother, we put on our 3D glasses and when we watched Freddy die I really thought that would be the last time but he came back.  It's those memories that I know others like myself cherish.

Robert Englund in his Famous Freddy Makeup ONE LAST TIME, it is that memory that I want to have, it is that story that I want to tell.  Pictures are worth a thousand words, we've all heard the saying before but the picture of Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger one last time for me is priceless, especially if I'm in it.


HOW: Much is it going to cost $3,000

WHO: Me, Cris or Zombie

WHAT: Meeting Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger for the last time

WHEN: August 8th 2014 (Makeup day) August 8th - 10 2014 (Convention)

WHERE: Flashback Weekend Chicago Horror Weekend - Chicago, IL

I currently live in California by way of Arizona.  I work freelance in the film and tv industry.  Most people think I'm rich... but I'm not.  I'm obsessed with Zombies and the Horror Genre.  That obsession has led me to collect autographed pictures, posters and other memorabilia.  This will be the first time visiting Chicago so I’m also gonna get some touristy stuff in there like lots of pictures and videos.  I plan to document my weekend trip, the convention and recap everything after through pictures, status updates, tweets and videos.  I will be updating a brand new Facebook page I created as well as my current twitter, instagram, and tumblr.

I set the bar high at $3,000, I don’t expect to get that much but getting enough will help fund my Dream which would help me pay for my Plane tickets: California > Chicago/Chicago > California, airport fees like bags and stuff, I’m brining my camera and luggage and I’ll be bringing back all the merchandise I collect for my funders so that will cost me too.  It will also help pay for a Hotel, which won't be cheap by that time, food.  The most important part of the trip that you will be funding is a Meet and Greet and photograph with Robert Englund as Freddy Kruger and also Help pay for the rewards that I am offering, which include purchase fees, autograph fees and shipping fees.

Once again I'd like to thank you all for taking the time to read about a boys lifelong dream and heres to to making it a reality.

you're newest friend


So there you have it. A pretty selfish thing to ask for. He essentially tells you that YOU will pay for everything and he won't be using any of his money. Is this appropriate? No. Is it illegal? Absolutely not. Is this what crowdfunding SHOULD be used for? Not really. I'm not a fan of CrowdFunding unless it's used for a legit manner that can be used for good and this makes both crowdfunding and horror fans together look plain awful. At the same time, asking for 3G's(the money seems way too much anyway. I feel like there may be some tomfoolery going on) to meet an actor is a  foolish thing to ask for. But looking at his $0 he's gained with under 30 days to go, I have serious doubts it will even be an issue.

Logically, if this guy truly wanted to go, he could get drive on his own money, find the cheapest hotel in town or sleep in his car, pack food, be in and out and still be under a grand for the weekend. But he'd rather seek you out for selfish need. I'd rather buy 3000 copies of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader at a church rummage sale. At least that way I could donate them to needy people who need humor in their life. Also, 3000 bones could buy a LOT of food or clothes for the homeless. 3000 dollars could also be used to convince Jerry Lewis to release Day The Clown Cried. All these are better options than someone's greedy need to meet Freddy. Even this, photoshopped or not, seems to be a better use...

So, while I sit here and admire my photo of Robert and I from 2009 at a Monster Mania sponsored Halloween party, I wonder, "wouldn't it be great if I could get a photo with Freddy himself?". The answer, again, is yes. But there are other priorities in life and while this is extremely exciting, I'd rather see horror fans give to a charity such as Scares That Care or just any charity or justifiable crowdfunding. I do believe that using crowdfunding to send people in general to conventions in any manner unless that person is physically disabled or similar is a complete disgrace and crowdfunding, if used at all, should be used to help flourish the fandom it's being used in.

So, that's my rant for today. I really hate to fill this blog with negativity outside of normal sarcasm, but this just pushed me over the edge and I find stuff like this beyond inappropriate. I hope you forgive my deviation from my normal content, but this bothered me too much. I guess I'm allowed one rant per year, right?